A True Friend Stabs You In The Front
by akisawana
Summary: Thundercracker hasn’t updated his anti-virus in a few million years. Starscream hasn’t figured out what he’s being punished for yet. And Skywarp’s stuck in the middle. Please R
1. Chapter 1

Title: A True Friend Stabs You In The Front

Author: akisawana

Genre: SNAD. H/C.

Warnings: Vaguely slashy (TC/SW.) Sane! Starscream. Thundercracker possessing a spine. Me making shit up and lots of it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Notes: Beta'ed. Yes, akisawana got one of her stories beta'ed. Stop the presses and all that jazz. Beta'ed by her boyfriend, the legendary Transformers Guru, even.

We won't tell you what he said.

Summary: Thundercracker hasn't updated his anti-virus in a few million years. Starscream hasn't figured out what he's being punished for yet. And Skywarp's stuck in the middle.

* * *

The communicator on the wall popped and fizzed. "Starscream? Are you awake?" Skywarp's voice asked from it.

Starscream pressed the button and the screensaver flickered into his wingmate's face. "What do you want?"

"TC's sick and he won't go see Hook."

"I'm fine," Thundercracker protested from off-screen.

At the same time, Starscream asked, "Sick?"

"He's got a virus," Skywarp explained.

"I do not!"

"Do too! Starscream, come over and tell him he does!"

Starscream sighed inwardly. Thundercracker had somehow failed to receive an anti-virus update in the last six million years. It was entirely possible that he had a virus. Especially if Skywarp of all people had noticed. "I'll be there in a minute," he said, flicking off the comm.

Thundercracker was standing in the middle of their room, glaring daggers at his wingmate. His optics looked a little dimmer than normal, Starscream thought. "I. Feel. Fine," he said, and crossed his arms.

Starscream activated the thermal sensor on the back of his hand and pressed it against Thundercracker's faceplate, above his optics. "Skywarp, go get some energon or something," he ordered.

"But," Skywarp began.

Starscream interrupted him. "Just go." Skywarp left. "You're running five degrees over acceptable variance," he told Thundercracker.

"That's not very much, "he protested.

Starscream wondered what he had done in a past life to deserve wingmates like these in this one. He sat on one of the berths and motioned Thundercracker over. Thundercracker sat next to him, their wingtips bumping together companionably. Where Skywarp responded to orders and authority, Thundercracker had to be led patiently, and handled with much more care. When spooked, Skywarp would rush to comply, while Thundercracker would simply bolt. "May I scan you?" He slid a hand up Thundercracker's back, resting his fingers on the port at the nape of his neck. "Just for a minute." A minute wasn't really long enough to do anything but the lightest of scans, but not even half-way through, Thundercracker was stiff with repressed tension. Starscream stopped the scan at the end of the appointed time, mindful of the fact that he was the _only_ one who could scan his wingmate without getting shot and that privilege was hard-won. He retracted the cable back into his thumb. Cybertronians were a tactile race, and jets doubly so. Starscream stroked the leading edge of Thundercracker's wing as he spoke. "You haven't been recharging," he said.

Thundercracker shrugged. "Been thinking."

"And writing Skywarp's reports." Starscream tapped his fingers against Thundercracker's wing as if in thought, though he knew what he was going to do. "Take a couple of days off," he said. "Let Skywarp take care of you. That will keep you two out of my way for a while." He stood up, and put his hand on Thundercracker's shoulder. "Lie down and get some rest. I don't want you getting," he paused to remember the Earth slang Skywarp had used, "sick." Thundercracker lay down obediently, and Starscream patted his shoulder. "I'll take care of the paperwork, and I'll be back after my shift." With a last stern command for him to behave, Starscream left and headed to the command center.

He ran into Skywarp on the way. Almost literally. "Watch out," Starscream told him.

"Sorry," Skywarp said, juggling three cubes. Starscream took two of them from him and handed one back when he stopped fumbling. He didn't look very sorry. He looked worried. "How is he?"

"You were right," Starscream answered. "He has a virus." Skywarp took no visible pleasure in the news he was right for once. "I want you to take care of him. I'll be by after my shift. Make sure he behaves." Starscream continued on to the command center and Skywarp to his room.

Skywarp found Thundercracker curled on his berth. As tough as he was when he was injured, being sick turned him into a sparkling. He sat up when Skywarp offered him a cube. "How you feeling?"

"Fine, like I told you. Six or seven times."

Skywarp sat next to him and leaned against him. "And if I promise we won't take you to Hook?"

Thundercracker raised an optic ridge. "What do you think I am, a Lamborghini? I'm fine, and not retarded."

His trick seen through, Skywarp just laughed and sipped his cube. "What if I promise no medics at all in any way, shape, or form?"

"Still don't trust you."

"That hurts, TC. That really hurts." Skywarp clutched at his cockpit theatrically. "You've known me how many millennia, and you still don't trust me?" He flung his hands out, missing Thundercracker's head by inches and toppling himself over. Thundercracker looked to the heavens, probably praying for patience. When he looked back down, Skywarp hadn't moved, still grinning at him. "You _could_ tell me why you hate medics so much, you know."

"It's none of your business."

"Since I'm the one who ends up taking care of you every time, yes, I think it is," Skywarp pointed out, sitting up.

"Tough."

"Are you going to drink any of that?" Skywarp pointed at the full cube in Thundercracker's hand.

"Yes." Thundercracker took a large swig and swallowed nearly half the cube at once.

His fuel tanks emptied half a second later into an empty bucket Starscream had wisely left next to the berth. Skywarp rubbed his back as he retched, supplying an incessant stream of cheerful chatter. "You got some force behind that there, TC," he said. "That's quite impressive. No, no, keep going, you'll feel better. If centuries of hangovers have taught me anything, it's to just relax and go with it. Don't try to fight it, you can't override the sub-routines. Well, at least I can't. Maybe you can. Try it? And it's not working. That's okay. Don't worry about the cube; we just got a ton of them. I don't know how much, but I don't think a cube or two is going to make a difference this time. Besides, you were awesome at that fight. The least they could do is give you an extra cube." From there, Skywarp launched into an enthusiastic, slightly embroidered, retelling of the last battle, complete with sound effects. "And then, Tweedle-dum, you know, the red one, I can't tell the difference, can you? Anyways, he—"

"Skywarp," Thundercracker interrupted. "I was there." He set the receptacle down and leaned against Skywarp.

"You gonna admit you're sick now? Let me take care of you?" Skywarp asked. "Or are you going to try to pass that off as a bad cube?"

"It was a bit of a funny color…"Thundercracker began. Skywarp shoved him down on his back.

"Don't start. You," he poked Thundercracker in the cockpit, "have a virus. Deal with it, and let me take care of you."

Thundercracker knew when he was beat. "Fine," he groused, curling up on his side. "Then leave me alone and let me get some slagging rest."

Skywarp grinned fondly at him. "Alright," he said, patting Thundercracker's knee. "You take a nap, and poke me if you need anything." He stood and cranked the heat up in the room a few notches. "Better?" he asked, looking back at Thundercracker.

"Was fine before," was all he said. Skywarp, unperturbed, plopped in the desk chair and logged on to a human game he had found. Much as he liked Thundercracker, if the mech was going to sleep, he wasn't going waste valuable farming time.

Halfway through the shift, Thundercracker tried the finish the cube from that morning, without success. When he lay back down again, it was in Skywarp's lap. "Going back to recharge?" Skywarp asked. Thundercracker nodded. "Do you want me to get you anything?" He shook his head and grabbed Skywarp's leg.

"Just don't move," he mumbled. Skywarp draped an arm across Thundercracker's chest and logged back on with his internal wifi connection.

They hadn't moved when Starscream came back from his shift. "How's he doing?" he asked, checking Thundercracker's external temperature again.

"He's been in recharge all day," Skywarp replied. "And he keeps throwing up."

"Wake him up. I brought him some low-grade."

Starscream turned to the table. Skywarp shook Thundercracker's shoulder gently. "Wake up, TC. Starscream's here."

Thundercracker mumbled something angry and incoherent, but sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the berth anyways. Starscream turned back around, a cube of low-grade in one hand, a scanner in the other. Thundercracker eyed the latter suspiciously. "No," he said.

"Would you prefer six eons worth of anti-virus updates?" Starscream asked. "That should only take, oh, a century or two."

"No scans. No anti-virus. My security routines can handle it." Thundercracker crossed his arms and set his jaw.

"Do we have to have this argument every time you get a virus?"

"I don't see a reason to, since I always win," Thundercracker snipped.

Starscream sighed inwardly, and skipped to the end of the script. "Three days," he said. "If it isn't gone by then, we do it my way." Starscream's way was to have Skywarp sit on Thundercracker while Starscream himself scanned their recalcitrant wingmate for the virus and to upload the quickest protocols that would take care of it. He hadn't had to do it in six million years.

The pissy remark Thundercracker was about to make died on his lips when the door slid open and Megatron strode in. Skywarp and Thundercracker stood up and saluted. Starscream just sneered. Megatron took no notice of his second-in-command, and nodded to the other two Seekers. "I hear you have a virus," he said to Thundercracker.

"Yes, sir," he said, standing at parade rest and staring straight ahead.

"You should see Hook and get an anti-virus update," Megatron said with an evil smirk.

"I'd prefer not to, sir."

"Surely you don't think it would happen again?" Megatron asked, still smirking.

"I'd rather not chance it. Sir."

Skywarp and Starscream looked at each other. Obviously, something had happened to Thundercracker long ago, when neither of them had been there. Megatron knew what had happened. And he could make it happen again. Thundercracker stood absolutely still, but they both recognized it as the stillness of some small helpless creature as the shadow of flying death passed over it. "I could order you to," Megatron purred, leaning in close. "I could order you to let Hook scan you, update your anti-virus program."

Starscream had known Thundercracker since almost the beginning of the war. Thundercracker didn't as much as twitch, but he knew that his wingmate, veteran of countless battles and at least six stints as a prisoner of war was paralyzed with fear. He shouldered his way between them and gave Megatron his third-best haughty glare. "That will not be necessary, Lord Megatron," he said. "I will take care of _my_ Seeker."

"I never knew you to care so much for him, Starscream."

Starscream folded his arms and raised his chin. "He will be very useful when I command the Decepticons," was all he said.

"You couldn't command a group of sparklings on their first day at the Academy, let alone the mighty Decepticon Empire!" Megatron snapped and left, his sport spoiled. The door wasn't even half-closed before Skywarp pushed Thundercracker back on the berth and shoved the cube of low-grade in his hands. They were trembling just the slightest bit. Starscream leaned against the table.

"What was that all about?" he demanded.

"Leave him alone, Screamer," Skywarp said, curling his fingers around the cube and steadying it so Thundercracker wouldn't spill any as he drank.

Starscream glared at the back of his head. "This irrational paranoia of his is getting out of hand. Not to mention highly inconvenient."

"Not irrational," Thundercracker grumbled, but he didn't meet anyone's optics.

"That's hard to determine since you refuse to give any reason for it! Unless you'd like to do it now?"

"Cut him some slack. He doesn't feel good," Skywarp protested.

"He'd be just fine if he had updated his fragging security routines at any point in the last six million years."

Thundercracker shuttered his optics, squeezing the empty cube and repressing the urge to throw it at Starscream, whose help he very well might need later. He felt Skywarp's hands leave his, taking the cube, as the purple mech stood up and turned around. Skywarp was saying something, but he didn't listen. He lay down and drew his knees up instead. The distinctive tone of Starscream monolouging was easy enough to fall into recharge to.

"He's getting worse," Starscream said. "This morning, there was barely any trace of the virus. Now, look." Even in recharge, Thundercracker's hands were shaking perceptibly. "And an hour ago?" Skywarp didn't have to say anything. "Three days," Starscream reminded him, and left.

Skywarp looked at Thundercracker. "What am I going to do with you?" He hoisted himself up on the table and picked up the other, regular, cube Starscream had brought. HE contemplated his roommate as he drank it. "It's got nothing to do with Hook, even I can figure that much out. No, something scared you good, TC. Scared you more than you trust us. That really does hurt, you know," he added, tossing the now-empty cube to the side. "And it can't' be any worse than what happened at Ka-tet. We forgave you for that, didn't we? How much worse could this get?"

* * *

To be continued...

Questions, comments, concerns, criticism, confessions? You know what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: A True Friend Stabs You In The FrontAuthor: akisawanaGenre: SNAD. H/C.

Warnings: Vaguely slashy (TC/SW.) Sane! Starscream. Thundercracker possessing a spine. Me making shit up and lots of it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Notes: Beta'ed. Yes, akisawana got one of her stories beta'ed. Stop the presses and all that jazz. Beta'ed by her boyfriend, the legendary Transformers Guru, even.

We won't tell you what he said.

Summary: Starscream finds out the truth. And then lies about it.

* * *

Waking up next to Thundercracker was always a fun bit of game. Would he be where he had started, or upside-down or, as on one memorable occasion, on the floor in alt-mode? Today, he was on the opposite end of the berth from where he had started, wrapped around Skywarp's left leg. It was, Skywarp thought, sad that he didn't find that strange at all. He sat up and started peeling Thundercracker off him. "Skywarp," Thundercracker muttered sleepily, "leave me alone." 

"Let go of my leg," he replied.

"What?" Thundercracker asked, and only then did Skywarp realize that while he had spoke in the local dialect, Thundercracker was using Cybertronian.

Skywarp swore in several languages. "Starscream," he called over the internal radio. "Something's wrong with Thundercracker."

"Yes," Starscream responded testily, "he's been infected and is being a stubborn afthead about it. We went over this yesterday."

"He's not understanding English."

"I'll be right there." Even though Starscream was there in less than ten minutes, Skywarp managed to get Thundercracker vertical and reasonably coherent, albeit leaning heavily on him and answering in monosyllables. Starscream tossed a piece of equipment at them; Skywarp caught it easily. "Back yourself up," he told Thundercracker. "I'll bring your morning ration," he added, and left.

Skywarp handed the recorder to Thundercracker. The device would back up his memory and personality files in case the virus corrupted them. Every mech knew how to do it, but few actually had need to, and Skywarp's fuel pump had momentarily seized up when he realized what the black box was. It was likely the only one on the Nemesis. As Thundercracker unwound the cables and copied the files, Skywarp pulled his wingmate against him. It made him feel a little better to have Thundercracker in his arms, shakes and all. He held him until Starscream returned and snorted at them.

"You two are embarrassing," he snapped, setting the cubes he had brought on the berth. He turned the desk chair around and sat in it backwards so he could stretch his wings out behind him and fold his arms atop the backrest. "Would it kill you to act like, if not the pride of the Air Force, at least not like sparklings?"

"Who's going to see us?" Skywarp pointed out. Thundercracker's tremors were far too strong for him to feed himself. Skywarp held the cube of low-grade for him, ignoring Starscream's glare. Thundercracker drank most of the cube before turning away and softly thanking Skywarp. "It settling okay?" he asked, running a hand down Thundercracker's canopy.

"Mostly." Thundercracker leaned against Skywarp's shoulder and offlined his optics.

"Want to lie down?" Skywarp stroked his shoulder vents with his free hand, paying Starscream's disapproving scowl no mind.

"Don't want to move." Thundercracker leaned more heavily against Skywarp. Skywarp rearranged them, with a little flexibility and a little warping, to half-sit against the wall, Thundercracker between his legs and lying back against his chest.

"Better?" he asked, tracing the outline of Thundercracker's canopy once more. Thundercracker nodded. "Going back into recharge?" Skywarp suggested.

"Think so," Thundercracker said. "If you get the gil, pick me up Pluto's staff?"

"I will," Skywarp said, amused that Thundercracker would even think of that. "I'll even catch your catgirl up if I think of it."

"Thanks."

Starscream watched Thundercracker fall into recharge, an unreadable look on his face. "You two…" he began, but stopped and shook his head. He picked up the recorder and tossed up and down a few times. "He's all backed up?"

"Yeah."

Starscream caught it one last time. "I'll be back later. If anyone comes by, lock them out and call me."

"Why would anyone come by?"

Starscream shrugged. "Ennui. Sadism. Espionage. Curiosity. Schadenfreunde." He stood up and left his wingmates to their own devices. At this rate, Skywarp wouldn't need much help holding Thundercracker down when Starscream finally broke and uploaded anti-virus particles by brute force. Cold comfort, that thought was.

Modifying the inputs on his computer (not one connected to the mainframe, did he look as dumb as that?) to accept the cords from the recorder and tweaking a mostly-finished program to follow memory chains wasn't hard, but it was time-consuming, and it was almost a full shift before Starscream pulled up the first memory of the chain he thought would explain Thundercracker's paranoia: the argument from just before Megatron's entrance. In Thundercracker's memory, the fight was backed by fear of discovery, but the next memory in the chain was not whatever he was afraid would come to light, but disposing of a green Seeker when his worth to the cause dropped lower than his worth as spare parts. And the associated memories from _that_ yielded few clues, just a fear of the central medical facilities at Oezuya and a spiking hatred of anyone that shared stories of life before the war. It explained why he got along so well with Skywarp and Starscream in the beginning; Skywarp hated even being reminded of the time before he had joined the Decepticons when he had been by himself, with no-one around to appreciate his stellar wit. And as for Starscream, the time before he had been a Decepticon…such memories inevitably led back to Skyfire one way or another, and such sleeping dogs it was better to let lie. Starscream thought his former partner would have applauded his use of a local phrase, and scowled. He was getting distracted from the task at hand, finding out what in the name of the twice-cursed moons was wrong with his wingmate.

Skywarp was considering getting up and finding some energon when Starscream came in, several cycles late. The Air Commander was a whole new level of not-happy; his wings were at an angle that was probably painful and possibly not even physically possible and he was cycling air through his fans three times faster than normal. When he caught sight of the two on the berth, though, he visibly forced himself to calm down. He sat on the end of the berth and unspaced three cubes, handing one to Skywarp and settling in to explain the latest stratagem for Round Umpteen of Getting Thundercracker's Head out of His Aft.

"I found out what his problem is," Starscream said, voice so low it almost sounded normal. "Do you remember the Kappa virus?"

"Sort of," Skywarp replied. "I was studying for my finals at Darkmont when it happened. That was the virus the Autobots tried, right? The one that made you lock up in the middle of a fight?"

Starscream nodded. "It planted code into battle programs. Self-repair and vector calculations, mostly, since no-one scans them unless something's wrong outside of battle and it needed a signal trigger. Prime thought it was too cruel since it left mechs so helpless for so long, and he didn't think Megatron would bother to repair infected soldiers since it's quite difficult; copies of it hide all over the place and they have to be removed manually. He shut down the project as soon as he found out about it. But not before the Autobots took down a Seeker trine with it."

"And TC was one of them?"

"I don't think so. According to these," Starscream held up the recorder that stored Thundercracker's backed-up memories, "Prime was wrong about one thing. Megatron did order the medics to try to reverse the process. Almost his first memory is Megatron thanking him for letting them test one method on him-and the sacrifice he made for the Decepticon cause."

"You looked at his memories?" Skywarp demanded, too shocked to even raise his voice. "Screamer, he's going to kill you! I might just kill you myself!"

"And you would prefer I let him die?" Starscream asked calmly. "He'd rather that than have us know what happened. He thinks we'd kill him if we did."

"Are we going to? Kill him?" Skywarp asked, his hold on Thundercracker tightening, mostly unconsciously. "Why?"

"No, you dolt. He's just being a silly aft. Will you let me explain?" Starscream again wondered what he was in a past life to deserve this. Skywarp nodded and the Air Commander continued. "Thundercracker doesn't remember anything from before waking up in Central Medical and being told he had volunteered to test an anti-virus that failed, and wiped his memory banks. He thinks that if anyone ever found out, we'd shoot him and use him for spare parts."

"Why would we do that?" Skywarp repeated.

"Don't ask me, I don't pretend to know what twisted flight plans his mind follows. Probably because he doesn't remember any of his training, or enlistment, or even why he's here. For all he knows, he's a mass murderer or an Autobot with a new paint job and designation. He only calls himself Thundercracker because that's what Megatron calls him."

"Primus." Skywarp tried to process everything, and failed. It didn't make any sense –a mech couldn't just forget everything, and yet it made too much sense, explained too much of Thundercracker's odd behavior. It explained why he never talked about the Academy, or the time before the war or any other trine he'd been in: there wasn't anything to talk about or even embellish into something worth talking about. And why he only let his wingmates repair him without a fight; if a medic looked in his file, it would all be over.

Starscream tapped the fingers of one hand against the other elbow, giving Skywarp thirty clock-cycles to process it. "What this means," he said, trying to keep his words simple and monosyllabic enough for Skywarp, "is that Thundercracker is afraid of anti-virus programs because he doesn't want to lose all his memories again, understand?"

That was easy enough for Skywarp to grasp. "So how are we going to get him to trust the new ones?"

"I'm going to write them."

"You looked at his memories. I don't think he's going to trust you at all."

"Who says he has to know? Wake him up and keep your mouth shut."

"What do you mean, keep my mouth shut?"

Starscream thought very hard about abandoning the two of them. But it wasn't easy to train Seekers, and he'd already spent so much time on them. "I mean don't tell him I looked at his memories."

"What if he asks how you suddenly know?"

"Then I'll lie. Skywarp, have I ever done you wrong?"

Skywarp had to admit that on the whole, Starscream had cursed and pushed and shot at them in a direction best for all three of them, going so far as to manufacture emergencies once or twice when getting Thundercracker and himself away from Megatron would be good for their health. And he certainly kept his wingmates alive, in one piece, and currently the highest ranked trine. "Then trust me, wake him up, and keep your mouth shut."

Skywarp didn't say anything to him, but he did shake Thundercracker awake softly. "Rise and shine, TC," he said. "Screamer wants you."

Thundercracker grumbled something too low to make out; Skywarp felt more than heard it. Starscream ignored it and held out a cube of the low-grade Thundercracker had been drinking. "Drink up," he said, voice oddly gentle. Thundercracker grabbed at it twice before Skywarp took it and held it for him. Thundercracker's wings drooped in shame as he drank under Starscream's watchful eye. Skywarp just tried not to fidget too much. When he was done, Starscream took the cube from him and set it carefully aside. He rested the tips of his fingers lightly on the square vent on Thundercracker's chest. "I need to scan you," he said.

"No," Thundercracker rasped.

"I know about the Kappa virus. I know you're missing part of your memory. _I don't care._ I need to see what kind of virus you have so I can write an anti-virus for it.

"How did you..?" Starscream interrupted him.

"I looked in your file. It's my right, as your commanding officer," he lied smoothly. "Now that you know I'm not going to kill you, and in fact feel nothing other than vague disappointment that the root of your paranoia wasn't more entertaining, will you let me scan you, for the love of Primus?"

Thundercracker didn't say anything, just stared at Starscream as if he couldn't quite make sense of his words. Skywarp warped out from behind him, six inches and a hundred and eighty degrees, and knelt in front of his wingmate. "Thundercracker," he said, serious as he never was, "please." Not caring if Starscream saw him, he put one of his hands over Thundercracker's and squeezed it. "This has gone on long enough." He crouched down a little so he could look up with pleading optics. "Trust us?"

Thundercracker shuttered his optics and trembled under their hands, perilously close to breaking. Starscream didn't say anything. Thundercracker would capitulate soon enough. Skywarp remained silent as well, but that was because he had run out of things to say.

Finally, Thundercracker opened his optics and stretched out a shaking hand to Starscream. Starscream took it without a word and plugged himself into the jack at the wrist. As he began scanning Thundercracker, Skywarp slid around, next to and a little behind the blue jet, twitching his wing almost past comfortable to shield him. Thundercracker shifted in his direction slightly. Starscream pulled back from the scan long enough to heave a mostly melodramatic sigh.

"If being all touchy with him makes you feel better, just go ahead and go all the way. Anything to speed this up. Thundercracker, you have seventeen viruses. Seventeen. And that was only eight percent of your file structure. I ought to leave them there to kill you, see if that teaches you a lesson. Not that I think it would…" Starscream trailed off as he resumed the scan.

"I make you feel better?" Skywarp teased, but when Thundercracker didn't rise to the bait he just grinned and said, "Good to know." He wrapped his arms around Thundercracker and tugged him back to lean against his shoulder. Thundercracker shifted against him, making himself comfortable, and he didn't exactly sigh when he was, but a certain amount of tension drained away from him. Skywarp didn't say anything, just traced the red stripe on Thundercracker's wing, over and over for the next half-hour, while Starscream scanned him and Thundercracker shook.

Eventually, Starscream disengaged himself with a glare for Thundercracker. He didn't say anything reproachful, though, just shook his head and reached around, into the back of Thundercracker's neck, and flicked off most of his sensor relays.

"What gives, Screamer?" Skywarp asked before Thundercracker had the chance to.

"If he's going to be in that much pain," Starscream replied, "I want to be the cause of it. Try to keep him alive until I come back with a security update? It shouldn't take more than a few days to write up.

"You? Why are you writing them?" Thundercracker asked.

"I've gotten used to having you around, irritating quirks and all." Starscream half-shrugged. "You're _mine_, though the Great Unmaker alone knows what I did to deserve you, and I clearly can't trust you to anyone else. Skywarp, don't forget to feed him," he called over his shoulder as he left the room.

* * *

Confusion, comments, criticisms, confessions? 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: A True Friend Stabs You In The Front 3/3Author: akisawanaGenre: SNAD. H/C.

Warnings: Vaguely slashy (TC/SW.) Sane! Starscream. Thundercracker possessing a spine. Me making shit up and lots of it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Notes: Beta'ed. Yes, akisawana got one of her stories beta'ed. Stop the presses and all that jazz. Beta'ed by her boyfriend, the legendary Transformers Guru, even.

We won't tell you what he said.

Summary: Skywarp speaks really bad French and Thundercracker can't catch a break.

Thundercracker struggled to lean against the wall, made more difficult by the fact that he could not actually feel where any of his limbs were. Skywarp helped him to arrange himself, getting an angry look for his trouble. "What?" Skywarp asked.

Now that he no longer actually felt terrible, Thundercracker reverted to tough-guy mode. "I got it."

"If you say so, buddy." Skywarp moved off the berth and sat in the desk chair. Crossing his ankles on the edge of the table and leaning dangerously back in the chair, he affected a posture of bored indifference, but when he held still for more than five minutes, it gave him away. "I make you feel better?" he asked the ceiling finally.

Thundercracker smiled softly, though Skywarp couldn't see it. "Yeah. You do." Skywarp didn't reply, so he continued, "you have for a long time."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"It wasn't worth the risk." Thundercracker shrugged one shoulder.

Skywarp dropped his chair down to look his wingmate dead in the optics. "You can't trust me?"

Thundercracker's optics slid over to the tip of Skywarp's wing. "It's not like that. I didn't want to lose…" he paused to search for the right word, but the virus had eaten away any word he would have wanted to use, leaving him with words inadequate to describe what Skywarp meant to him. Skywarp waved his search off.

"Want me to get you some energon?"

"No." Thundercracker shook his head. "I feel like slag."

Skywarp took the hint and joined him on the berth once more, cradling Thundercracker against him in a manner that would have positively disgusted Starscream. "You should take some in," he suggested. "It'll make you feel better."

"I feel better already," Thundercracker declared.

Through the next three days, Starscream wrote code, and Skywarp watched over their wingmate, and the virus ate away at files. Late on the third day, or early on the fourth, Starscream burst in, not happy, exactly, but less agitated than normal. "Wake up," he ordered. "I've got it."

"Anti-virus?" Skywarp blinked at him, not completely up to speed.

Starscream snorted and perched on the edge of the berth. "Too easy. I wrote complete security routines for him. Much better than anything anyone else is running."

"Are you sure they work?"

"I wrote them, didn't I?" Starscream demanded. Skywarp didn't say anything, but he felt the need to defend his work anyways. "And I'm running them now. They work." He poked Thundercracker. "Did you kill him?"

"I'm not dead," Thundercracker rumbled. His optics flickered to life, smoldering quietly, more dimly than Starscream was comfortable with. The sooner he had Thundercracker moping around, terrorizing the ground pounders and generally being a pain in his aft, the better.

"Ready?" Starscream asked.

"No," Thundercracker replied, but he leaned forward and offered the data jack on his wrist anyways.

Starscream wired himself in and transferred the programs, then pulled out and patched in the recorder. "I'm going to shut you down manually so the corrupted files can be repaired," he said.

"And if I don't want you to?"

"Then Skywarp is going to sit on you and I'm going to shut you down manually so the corrupted files can be repaired." Skywarp pushed Thundercracker to lie on his back and Starscream popped open his cockpit and pressed the three digit entry code that released the cover over the switch. "On the count of three," he said, hand on the switch. "One." He flipped it.

It took a full minute for Thundercracker's systems to shut down, right down to his fuel pump. When the last whirring of fans stopped, Skywarp looked at his commander. Starscream's hand was still in Thundercracker's cockpit, and he had a thoughtful little frown on his face. "Starscream?"

"Did he not put up a fight because he knew he couldn't win or because he's a fool and trusts us?" Starscream mused aloud.

"Turn him back on, Starscream," Skywarp said quietly. Until Starscream flipped the switch back, Thundercracker was dead. Technically, physically, literally dead.

Starscream flipped the switch on and closed Thundercracker's cockpit with something resembling tenderness. Internal gears whirled as he booted up, lights along his pilot array flickering on and off to indicate status. They all came on at once, and then everything stalled. Skywarp waited a minute for it to resume, then fidgeted for another minute. "Let it scan," Starscream said, optics burning on Thundercracker.

"Is it supposed to take this long?" Skywarp wondered.

Starscream snapped, "Yes," but he laid his hand on Skywarp's shoulder.

"Are you sure?" he asked five minutes later.

"It's got a lot of files to replace, and even more to go through. Give it time," Starscream told him.

"How long is it going to take?"

"As long as it takes."

"Well how long did it take you?" Skywarp demanded, frustrated.

"I didn't shut down." All the lights on Thundercracker's display suddenly blinked out and the comforting noises of a living robot slowed, then stopped.

"TC!" Skywarp cried, lunging for him.

"Calm down!" Starscream ordered, holding him back. "He's just restarting. See?" Indeed, the lights were coming back on, systems audibly powering up. "I thought you were supposed to be the stable one of us," he groused, letting him go.

Skywarp pulled the desk chair over to the side of the berth and covered one of Thundercracker's hands with his own. When Thundercracker's optics came online, brighter than they had been in days, Skywarp grinned down at him. "Darkwing!" he chirped. "Tu est bon! Je suis heureuse!"

The look of sheer panic on Thundercracker's face at that was more than enough repayment for all the trouble he had been. Starscream saved the image to properly savor later and smacked Skywarp across the back of the head. "Your French is terrible," he said. "Now get out of my way." Skywarp obediently warped to the end of the berth, giggling. "Thundercracker," Starscream continued, taking no notice of him, "sit up. I need to make sure it worked." Thundercracker sat up and bent his head forward when Starscream tapped the back of his helmet. Starscream plugged in and scanned him while Skywarp grinned like a lunatic at them. "You're clean," he pronounced when he was done, switching Thundercracker's sensors back on. Thundercracker shuddered as the sudden input overwhelmed him at first, and flicked his wings for the sheer joy of feeling air move against them –nowhere near flying, of course, but an unconscious gesture every Seeker made when his wings regained feeling. "Both of you are back on duty first thing tomorrow morning," Starscream said.

"Today tomorrow or tomorrow tomorrow?" Skywarp asked, grinning still.

"Tomorrow tomorrow." Starscream left, and Skywarp pounced.


End file.
